Choosing Yourself: Why Wanting More is a Reflection of Your Self-Worth

There comes a point when giving more of yourself stops feeling like love and starts feeling like self-betrayal. Maybe it’s a relationship that once felt full of promise but now weighs heavy on your heart. Maybe it’s a job you once loved but now drains every ounce of your spirit. Maybe it’s family dynamics that leave you feeling invisible no matter how much you try.

And deep down, you know: something has shifted. Something inside you is whispering — this isn’t working anymore.

Standing in the In-Between: Where Awareness Awakens

This moment — the uneasy, uncomfortable tugging at your heart — is the beginning of the in-between. It’s that sacred but unsettling space where the life you once knew starts to feel too small, and yet the next chapter isn’t clear yet.

Here, self-awareness stirs. It gently, and sometimes painfully, highlights what is out of alignment. It asks you to notice what you’ve been tolerating, excusing, or denying for the sake of others.

This is not failure. This is your soul waking up.

The in-between is where your clarity begins — not because you have all the answers, but because you finally allow yourself to ask the right questions. And standing here, uncertain and raw, is where real change is born.

But if you're anything like me, and many other women, that whisper is quickly drowned out by guilt. Guilt for wanting more. Guilt for needing something different. Guilt for thinking of yourself at all.

When your natural instinct is to give, to fix, to endure, making the decision to walk away can feel almost impossible. You start to wonder:

• Am I being selfish?

• What if I regret this?

• What if I’m just not trying hard enough?

• What if it’s me?

The fear of uncertainty creeps in. The self-criticism becomes louder. The old people-pleasing habits start pulling at your heart.

You tell yourself, Maybe I can just try a little harder. Hold on a little longer. Shrink myself just a little more...

But here’s the truth you need to hear: You are a person too. You deserve to be nourished by your life, not depleted by it.

Reflection Moment:

When life feels heavy and your heart pulls you toward something more, it’s not weakness—it’s wisdom. Choosing yourself is how you reclaim your self-worth and honor the woman you are becoming.

In the space between endings and beginnings, it’s okay to want more—and to believe you deserve it.

When Things Feel Too Heavy: Signs It's Time to Choose Yourself

Making hard decisions starts with an awareness that is often painful but necessary. If you’re feeling:

• Constantly exhausted no matter how much you rest

• Like you're betraying yourself to keep the peace

• More like a caretaker than an equal partner

• Heavy, anxious, resentful, or disconnected

• Guilty for even thinking about what you need

  
  

It’s not a sign that you’re failing as a person, a woman, or a human being.  It’s a sign that something isn’t aligned anymore.

And it’s okay to honor that. It’s okay to want a life that feels good to you.

Hard Questions to Help You Find Clarity About Your Self-Worth

When it feels overwhelming, ask yourself:

• Am I honoring my own values, or just trying to live up to someone else's expectations?

• Does staying align with the woman I am becoming?

• If nothing changed, could I be at peace with this a year from now?

• Am I choosing love and growth, or fear and obligation?

• What would I tell my best friend if she were in my shoes?

The image of what was supposed to be, or what once was, can be intoxicating. But sometimes love is not enough to hold something together that no longer supports who you are now.

Why It's So Hard to Walk Away

Leaving — whether it’s a relationship, a job, a friendship, or an old identity — is hard because:

• It brings up uncertainty and fear.

• It triggers guilt and loyalty conflicts.

• It forces you to grieve the version of the dream you once held.

• It makes you confront your own worthiness.

But staying in spaces that deplete you is a slow erosion of your spirit. Every time you silence your needs, you teach yourself that they don’t matter. And they do.

How to Honor Yourself Through Tough Decisions

If you’re standing at a crossroads, know this: You don’t have to have all the answers today. You just have to make the next best decision for your well-being.

Some ways to honor yourself:

• Give yourself permission to want what you want without shame.

• Release the fantasy of what "could have been."

• Forgive yourself for staying as long as you did — you stayed because you loved.

• Trust that leaving is an act of love too — love for your future self.

• Surround yourself with voices that remind you of your worth, not diminish it.
  

Most importantly: Move from a place of self-worth and worthiness, not woundedness. You are allowed to choose yourself, even if it makes others uncomfortable. You are allowed to end something that isn’t aligned anymore. You are allowed to honor your life and your energy.

You are allowed to say, "I matter too."

Your Next Step Toward Choosing Yourself Starts Here

Making the decision to honor yourself is powerful — but staying connected to that decision takes daily courage. If you're ready to deepen your journey and rediscover the woman you are becoming, the Becoming Her: 30 Days of Reflection & Inner Truth guide is here to walk with you.

This journal offers a month of soul-nourishing prompts to help you:

✨ Reclaim your self-worth

✨ Strengthen your self-trust

✨ Reflect on your values, priorities, and desires

✨ Cultivate the courage to choose yourself every day

You don't have to navigate the in-between alone. Start your 30-day journey back to yourself today.