Your Thoughts Are Not Your Reality: How to Change Your Mindset

Every action you take begins with a thought. These seemingly fleeting mental whispers hold immense power. They stem from deeply ingrained beliefs shaped by years of conditioning, creating behaviors that often feel automatic. But what happens when you realize these behaviors no longer serve the life you want to live? How to change your mindset once its fixed? 

We only think our thoughts are fixed, that they are true. Thoughts are just reinforcements of what we have experienced in the past. Our thoughts come from all of our life experiences added up to keep us safe. Safety is key to our automatic response system. When you begin a journey of inner transformation it is important to understand that your sense of safety of all your known experiences are being triggered and pushed against.

True transformation begins with understanding the connection between your thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors—and learning to reframe them. 

The Role of Conditioning in Shaping Thoughts 

From childhood, we absorb messages from our environment, caregivers, peers, and society. These messages form the foundation of our beliefs about ourselves and the world. Over time, they harden into mental patterns, dictating how we think, feel, and behave. 

Here’s the catch: these conditioned thoughts often go unnoticed. They’re like an invisible script, running in the background, influencing decisions and actions without question.

For instance: 

• “I’m not good enough.” 

• “If I fail, people will judge me.” 

• “This is just how life is for me.” 

These thoughts are projections—not reality. They are stories created by the mind to keep you safe, based on past experiences. But safety doesn’t always mean growth, and often, these narratives hold you back from living fully. 

Thoughts Are Not Reality 

It’s crucial to recognize that your thoughts are not facts. They are interpretations, shaped by past experiences, traumas, and societal expectations. Just because you think something doesn’t make it true. 

Take a moment to reflect: How often do your thoughts stop you from taking risks, trying something new, or standing up for yourself? How many of these thoughts are rooted in fear, doubt, or the need to stay “safe”? 

The good news is that you can change your thoughts. And when you do, you open the door to transforming your beliefs and behaviors. 

Breaking the Cycle: From Awareness to Action 

The journey to rewiring your thoughts and beliefs isn’t a quick fix—it’s a process. The space between recognizing your conditioned patterns and stepping into a new way of being is where the real work happens. This is the "in-between," the messy, transformative space where growth takes root. 

Here’s how to navigate it: 

1. Build Awareness 

Awareness is the first step. Start paying attention to your thoughts. When a negative thought arises, pause and ask yourself: 

• Is this thought true? 

• Where did it come from? 

• Does this thought serve the person I want to become? 

Journaling can be a powerful tool here. Write down recurring thoughts and look for patterns. 

2. Question Your Beliefs 

Beliefs are the backbone of your thoughts. If you believe you are unworthy, your mind will find evidence to support that belief.

Challenge these beliefs by asking: 

• What evidence do I have that this belief is true? 

• What evidence do I have that it’s not true? 

• What would I believe if I weren’t afraid? 

3. Reframe Negative Thoughts 

Once you’ve identified and questioned your thoughts, it’s time to reframe them. Replace self-defeating thoughts with empowering ones.

For example: 

• “I’m not good enough” becomes “I am capable and learning every day.” 

• “If I fail, people will judge me” becomes “Failure is part of growth, and my worth isn’t tied to others’ opinions.” 

Reframing isn’t about ignoring reality; it’s about choosing thoughts that align with your desired future. 

4. Take Different Actions 

Transformation doesn’t stop at reframing—it requires action. Behavior solidifies beliefs.

Start by taking small, intentional steps that reflect your new thoughts: 

• Speak up in a meeting if you’ve reframed self-doubt. 

• Set a boundary if you’ve challenged a belief about always needing to please others. 

• Try something new, even if it scares you. 

Every action reinforces the belief that you are capable, worthy, and resilient. 

Embracing the "In-Between" 

The "in-between" stage—where you’ve let go of old patterns but haven’t fully stepped into your new self—can feel uncomfortable, even painful. It’s a space filled with uncertainty and vulnerability. But it’s also where transformation happens. 

In this phase, self-compassion is essential. You’re unlearning decades of conditioning, and that takes time. Treat yourself with the same patience and kindness you would offer a dear friend. 

Your Journey to Transformation 

Change is possible, but it requires courage to confront your thoughts, challenge your beliefs, and take new actions.

Remember: 

• Your thoughts are not your reality. 

• You have the power to rewrite the stories you’ve been telling yourself. 

• Every step you take in the "in-between" brings you closer to the person you’re meant to become. 

Are you ready to start your journey of inner transformation? The path may be challenging, but the destination—a life aligned with your true self—is worth every step. Get started today with my guide "Breaking the Cycle of Negativity" and start reframing and transforming your thoughts towards love, compassion, and all you dream of. In this guide I offer tools to help you identify what you hear, say, and think about yourself and the world around you. This is more than a guide, it is a tool of awareness to help you uncover what you truly think and what shapes those thoughts.