Self-Awareness and Authenticity: Where in Life Are You Not Being True to Yourself?

Have you ever felt like you're living a version of your life that looks good on the outside… but feels off on the inside?

You smile, nod, and go through the motions. You fulfill roles. You check off the to-do list. You stay busy, distracted, constantly “on.” But when you pause long enough — something within you whispers: “This isn’t the real me.”

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone. Many women, especially in times of life transition, find themselves stuck between who they’ve always been for others and who they’re meant to become for themselves.

This post is both a reflection and a self-assessment in self-awareness and authenticity. It will help you uncover the areas of your life where you may be living inauthentically — not out of failure or fault, but out of conditioning, fear, or survival. And more importantly, it will help you begin the journey of reconnecting to the truth of who you are underneath it all.

Self-Awareness of The Many Faces We Wear to Survive

For years, women especially, have been unconsciously performing roles or wearing masks to stay safe, accepted, or successful.

These can look like:

• The Caregiver: Always giving, rarely receiving.

• The High Achiever: Success-driven but emotionally drained.

• The Peacemaker: Avoiding conflict, silencing your truth.

• The Strong One: Holding it all together, never falling apart.

• The Good Girl: Always doing what’s expected, never what you desire.

These roles and masks often start in childhood, shaped by family dynamics, culture, religion, or past experiences. Over time, they become your identity — even if they were never your truth.

And then there's busyness and distraction — constantly doing, scrolling, organizing, cleaning, numbing. Sometimes it's with overworking, sometimes it's with food, alcohol, TV, social media, or perfectionism. These behaviors can act as emotional armor, keeping us from facing the deeper truth: we’re disconnected from ourselves.

That’s where self-awareness becomes your first act of healing — recognizing the patterns you’ve been living in and asking, “Is this who I really am?”

SELF-ASSESSMENT: Where Might You Be Living Inauthentically?

Take a few moments to reflect honestly on the following questions. You can rate each from 1 (rarely true) to 5 (always true), or simply journal your thoughts:

1. I often say “yes” when I want to say “no.”

2. I feel exhausted trying to meet others’ expectations.

3. I avoid sharing my true feelings or needs to keep the peace.

4. I keep myself constantly busy to avoid uncomfortable thoughts or emotions.

5. I feel like I’m playing a role, not living as my real self.

6. I don’t know what I truly want anymore.

7. I feel guilty or selfish for prioritizing my own desires.

8. I compare myself to others and feel like I fall short.

9. I find myself numbing (TV, food, alcohol, scrolling) more than I’d like.

10. I fear people won’t accept the real me.

The higher your scores, the more likely it is that you’ve been operating from a space of protection rather than truth. This isn’t something to judge — it’s something to become aware of, gently and honestly. That’s the beauty of self-awareness: it helps you see clearly so you can choose differently.

The Masks We Wear for Ourselves

Sometimes the most convincing lies are the ones we tell ourselves:

• “I’m fine.”

• “I don’t need help.”

• “This is just how life is.”

• “I should be grateful.”

• “It’s too late to change.”

These inner masks are often harder to recognize because they’re wrapped in logic, duty, or shame. But behind every mask is a part of you waiting to be heard, seen, and loved.

Increasing your self-awareness means getting honest about what you're telling yourself—and asking whether it's actually true.

Self-Awareness: How to Tell What’s True for You — and What’s Not

So how do you begin to separate what’s authentic from what’s conditioned?

Start with this simple practice:

1. Tune Into Your Body. Your body often knows the truth before your mind does. When something feels off, tight, heavy, or draining — it’s usually not aligned with your truth. When something feels expansive, freeing, or peaceful — it often is.

2. Question the Origin. Ask yourself: 

• “Where did I learn this belief?” 

• “Who told me I had to be this way?” 

• “Is this my voice or someone else’s?” 

Trace your patterns and beliefs back to their roots.

3. Notice When You Feel Most Alive. When are you most yourself? What are you doing? Who are you with? What parts of you come alive in those moments? That’s your truth speaking.

The more you practice these, the stronger your self-awareness muscle becomes — and with that comes clarity, freedom, and alignment.

3 Steps to Rebuild a Relationship With Your Authentic Self

The journey back to yourself is not about becoming someone new — it’s about remembering who you’ve always been underneath the noise.

Here’s where to begin:

1. Create Sacred Space for Self-Connection

Start spending 10–15 minutes a day just with yourself. Journal. Reflect. Sit in stillness. Ask, “What do I need today?” Let this time be a sacred pause from the outside world to tune in.

2. Honor One Truth Daily

Practice showing up in small ways as your real self. Say no when you mean no. Speak honestly, even if your voice shakes. Express what you love, even if it’s different. Every small act of truth builds self-trust.

3. Compassion Over Criticism

You’ve worn masks for a reason — they protected you. Don’t shame them. Instead, thank them… and then gently let them go. Authenticity requires tenderness, not perfection.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve to Be Fully Seen — Starting With You

Living authentically doesn’t mean tearing down your life. It means unlayering. Coming back to center. Learning how to live in alignment with your values, your truth, and your voice — even if it’s a whisper right now.

And it all begins with self-awareness.

You are not broken. You’re just ready to come home to yourself.

Ready to shed the layers of who you were told to be?

Start with my free masterclass replay: Why You Are the Way You Are—and receive the bonus guide to go with it.

In this powerful session, you will begin to uncover the hidden influences that shaped your identity—what I call the Key Holders of Influence—and the beliefs they passed down.

You will walk away with insight into: Why you’ve felt stuck in certain roles or patterns How your past shaped your present What you can now choose to release

This is your first step toward reclaiming your truth and living life on your own terms.

Watch the replay + download your free guide today.