Strategies for Managing Emotions When Life Feels Uncertain and Out of Your Control
Apr 2
7 min read
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Have you ever felt like life was just... hanging around you? Like you're holding your breath waiting for answers, clarity, or a sign—but everything feels just out of your hands?
Maybe you're…
Waiting to hear back from a job and second-guessing if you said the right things.
Dating someone new, wondering if they feel the same way, watching their every move.
Waiting for something to spark to life within—something that makes you feel alive again.
Starting over after a big life shift and hitting nothing but closed doors and delays.
Watching everyone else seem to move forward while you’re stuck in the in-between.
You're not alone in this. I see you in the waiting.
And if you’re anything like me, you know how easy it is to get swept up in thoughts like: “Did I do enough?” “Was I too much?” “Should I have done it differently?” And that quiet but loud thought… “Am I even worthy of the thing I’m hoping for?”
This is the emotional weight of uncertainty—and the truth is, it’s exhausting.
The Trap of Clinging to What We Can’t Control
When life feels uncertain, our minds go into overdrive trying to make sense of what we can't see clearly. We start clinging to outcomes, micromanaging every possibility in our heads, and attaching our worth to things outside of our control.
We think if we just knew the answer—if we could just know how it all ends—we’d finally feel calm. But the truth is, control is not safety. It’s a coping mechanism.
We reach for control because uncertainty stirs up something deeper in us: fear, anxiety, self-doubt, shame. We want safety, but we seek it in the wrong place—outcomes, other people, predictability. And when those don’t come? We feel even more untethered.
So what do we do? We cling to the familiar—even if it’s uncomfortable. Even if it no longer serves us. Because familiar feels like safety, even when it’s not.
Why Uncertainty Feels So Hard (and So Personal)
Uncertainty activates the parts of us that were taught:
Safety comes from knowing what’s next.
Love comes with consistency.
Worth is proven through performance or outcomes.
And when we’re in the “in-between” and none of those things feel true… It feels personal. Like we’ve done something wrong. Like we’re failing.
But here’s what I want you to know: You are not failing. You are growing. You are in a sacred space between what was and what will be. And in that space, your emotions deserve care, not control.
Let’s talk about strategies for managing emotions during this deeply human, vulnerable, and powerful time.
Strategies for Managing Emotions in the In-Between Space
When life feels uncertain and out of your control, try these compassionate strategies to help you regulate your emotions, feel grounded, and reclaim your sense of inner safety:
You slow down.
You look within.
You give yourself back the power you’ve been handing over to circumstances and people outside of you.
Here’s how:
1. Reflect on Why Uncertainty Feels So Hard
Uncertainty activates the parts of us that were taught safety equals certainty. It pokes at the old beliefs that love must look a certain way, success has to arrive on a timeline, and your worth depends on what you do, not who you are.
Use these reflection prompts to explore what’s really going on underneath:
When I don’t have control, what fears surface?
What am I afraid will happen if I don’t get this outcome?
What do I believe this outcome will validate about me?
Where did I learn that certainty equals safety?
Let the answers rise without judgment. You’re not here to fix yourself—you’re here to understand and meet yourself with grace.
Tip: Acknowledge What You Feel Without Judgment
You don’t need to fix or change your emotions right away. The first step in managing them is simply letting them be.
Try saying:
“It’s okay that I feel scared right now.”
“Uncertainty is hard, and I’m doing the best I can.”
“I don’t have to pretend to be okay when I’m not.”
By acknowledging your feelings, you begin to soften their grip and open space for healing.
2. Shift From Outcome Obsession to Present Power
It’s so easy to hyper-focus on what might happen that we forget what we can do right now. This moment—right here—is where your power lives.
When you catch yourself spiraling into the future:
Come back to your breath.
Ground yourself in your body (feel your feet on the floor, touch something near you).
Ask: What can I choose right now that supports my peace?
You might not have control over the outcome—but you do have control over how you show up in the waiting.
Tip: Get Curious About Your Need for Control
Ask yourself:
What is control protecting me from?
What do I fear will happen if I let go?
What does not knowing stir up in me?
What do I fear this outcome will say about me?
Where did I learn that certainty = worth or love?
What parts of my past taught me that safety only exists in control?
These reflection questions help you reconnect to your deeper truth and give your emotions context. When you understand your patterns, you can shift them.
3. Surrender the Outcome, Stay Anchored in Intentional Action
Surrender doesn’t mean you give up—it means you give it over. You release the grip on how it must turn out and trust that what’s meant for you won’t miss you. That doesn’t mean you do nothing—it means you take aligned, present action that feels good to your soul, without attachment to how it unfolds. We lose ourselves when we hyper-fixate on what might happen. But your power is in the now.
When you feel yourself spiraling, pause. Come back to your senses:
Feel your feet on the ground.
Take three slow breaths.
Ask: “What can I choose today that brings me peace?”
That might look like going for a walk, drinking water, journaling, or reaching out to someone who understands you. These small acts become powerful strategies for managing emotions and bringing yourself back to center.
Place your hand on your heart. Take three deep breaths. Remind yourself: “I am here. I am safe. I am supported, even when I don’t have all the answers.”
Tip: Surrender the Outcome, Stay in Aligned Action
Surrender doesn’t mean giving up—it means releasing the grip. It means saying: “I trust that what’s meant for me won’t miss me.” And then turning your energy toward what you can do today.
Aligned actions might be:
Moving your body with intention.
Applying to another opportunity.
Saying yes to something that brings you joy.
Decluttering a space to create mental clarity.
Nourishing yourself with rest or creativity.
Surrender is trust in motion.
4. Fill the Present with Compassion and Grace
When everything is uncertain, it's easy to fall into shame, blame, or restlessness. But this is the time to wrap yourself in compassion.
Give yourself:
Love, even when you feel lost.
Grace, when you think you should be doing more.
Compassion, for the tender parts of you just trying to feel safe again.
Create rituals that remind you of who you are—whether it’s journaling, sitting with your morning coffee in silence, moving your body, or repeating affirmations like:
“I trust the timing of my life.”
“I am safe in the unknown.”
“I don’t need to know the ending to live fully in the now.”
Tip: Create a ritual to support yourself:
Light a candle and journal each morning. Ask:
What small step can I take today that supports me, regardless of the outcome?
How can I move forward without needing clarity from someone else?
Repeat affirmations like:
“Even in the unknown, I am growing.”
“I don’t need all the answers to move forward.”
“I am allowed to live fully now.”
Write a letter to your future self—reminding her that she is safe, supported, and more than worthy.
The waiting becomes more bearable when you show up for yourself in it.
Even choosing to nourish your body, clean a space, journal your thoughts, or go for a walk is powerful. These are grounded strategies for managing emotions that also reconnect you to your power.
5. When It Feels Like All You Do Is Wait… Start Living Again
The greatest reclaiming happens when you decide: “Even if I don’t have all the answers, I still get to live.”
Start living anyway.
Don’t wait to feel worthy. Don’t wait for permission. Don’t wait for the outcome to begin showing up for your life.
Ask yourself:
What brings me joy right now?
What have I been putting off because I’m waiting for clarity?
What can I learn, explore, or experience that feeds my soul?
Make space for play, for rest, for creativity, for small joys. Nourish yourself. It doesn’t have to be big to be meaningful.
You Are Not Powerless in Uncertainty
This space where nothing is settled? It’s not a dead end. It’s a threshold.
You are being invited to slow down and listen—not to the chaos of your thoughts, but to the quiet knowing within. To explore who you are when the outcome isn’t clear. To meet your emotions with presence and grace instead of pushing them away. Your value is not waiting at the end of a decision, a relationship, a job offer, or a breakthrough.
You are whole—even here.
Let go of the need to know everything. Return to your breath, your body, your present moment. This is where your healing lives. This is where your life is still happening.
And remember:
You can feel lost and still be on your path.
You can feel scared and still choose peace.
You can be in the in-between and still be growing.
If you’re in this season, I see you. And you’re not alone. I created tools and guides for this very space—the in-between—where everything feels uncertain and you’re ready to reclaim your voice, worth, and power. Your emotions aren’t wrong, too much, or something to hide—they’re messengers. But when life feels overwhelming, it can be hard to know how to respond without shutting down, reacting impulsively, or falling into old patterns.
You don’t need to fear your feelings. You just need tools to meet them with clarity and compassion.
The Fear-Less 30-Day Journal is your guided space to explore the emotions beneath your fear, understand your triggers, and learn to respond rather than react. With daily prompts, reflection tools, and grounding practices, you’ll build a relationship with your emotions that feels steady, safe, and empowering.
Get the journal now and begin managing your emotions with confidence, not control.
